Clunky Cinderella story offers no worthy prince

All girls supposedly want a Cinderella story. “What a Girl Wants” is at best a mediocre rendition of the classic fairy tale, set in a modern context. And with no prince in sight. Hollywood’s tradition of setting stories of the once-upon-a-time variety in the present has always drawn flocks of young viewers to the box office. Hoping to catch glimpses of their favorite teen heartthrobs, these kids will endure the clunkiest of modern-day Shakespearean adaptations. In such films, plot and character development are exaggerated, forced and unrealistic. No wonder, as the makers attempt to fit the original story into a rote formula, while trying to smooth over the differences in the time frame. “What a Girl Wants” is certainly no exception, and it goes through the usual motions without offering the crucial presence of the primary pretty boy, raising the question of whether Warner Bros. and the director Danny Golden really had in mind what it is that a girl wants when they made the film. Daphne Reynolds (Amanda Bynes) is a California teenager who longs to meet the father she’s never known, Lord Henry Dashwood (Colin Firth), a high-profile member of the English aristocracy. As in any of these oh-so-predictable tales, she makes the impulsive decision to fly off to England to introduce herself to Dad, who is clueless about her existence. No sooner does she step off the plane than she is met by an evil, soon-to-be stepmother-stepdaughter duo of social climbers (Anna Chancellor and Christina Cole), who, of course, want to get rid of this crazy rock-and-roll-loving American girl who stands in their way as they claw their way to the top of the aristocratic food chain. The plot whizzes through its events without any realistic development of the father-daughter relationship, nor of the love that supposedly blooms between Daphne and the local musician Ian (Oliver James), who she quite conveniently befriends after only an initial eye contact. The most ludicrous moment in the film is the reconnection that Daphne’s dad makes with Daphne’s mother, Libby (Kelly Preston), after 17-odd years. As he casually picks up the phone to call her, demanding to know who Daphne is and why her existence has been kept secret from him, one would think that they converse on a daily basis. The film is laden with slapstick humor involving the clumsy American creating a riot in the prim-and-proper world of English high society, as well as cheesily sentimental father-daughter moments reminiscent of the TV series “Full House,” in which all conflicts are neatly and happily resolved. Even the film’s intended teenybopper audience may find the film less than extraordinary. After all, where is Prince Charming? Now that’s what girls really want! stella.lee.03@alum. dartmouth.org By Stella Lee / Contributing Writer