The many adaptations of an adoptee

With Children’s Day falling this past Monday and Parent’s Day tomorrow, I thought it would be a good time to take another look at the adoption issue from the perspective of an adoptee.
David Keebok Warren was eight when he and his older brother were adopted from Seoul to Pittsfield, Massachusetts by a family gracious enough to adopt them together. The brothers quickly became Americanized. “Growing up, I was so encapsulated in white suburbia, I kept away from the Asian kids,” Warren said. “Looking back, I kick myself for that. I was like, ‘I don’t want to be like you crazy Asian kids, smelling like kimchi!’”
His family didn’t really address the adoption issue. “My parents treated me like we were their kids — that we just came out a little more yellow.”
This led Warren to bottle up the identity questions adoptees often deal with. He recalls the first time he faced the fact. “[A girlfriend] called me one day and flat out asked me if I was adopted,” Warren said. “I was frozen by her question. Up until that point, I thought I was this white, hunky-dory kid growing up in the suburbs.”
Later, his older brother asked him if he had ever thought about finding their first family. “I literally broke down. His question made me really emotional. After that moment, I started contacting adoption agencies in connection with Korea.”
That led him and his brother to board a plane for Korea in 2003 to meet the grandmother and aunt who had raised them until they were adopted.
The two women had struggled financially. The aunt worked 14 to 16 hours a day at a food stand while the kids were left to roam the streets. The family decided the boys would have a better life in the United States.
When it comes to their birth parents, Warren only knows about his father. “My father died,” he said. “I’ve tried asking about my mom’s story, but it’s always very vague. They don’t want to tell.”
Getting used to life here wasn’t easy. “When I landed and was surrounded by yellow people, I was overwhelmed. I felt really out of place. It took me a while to get used to seeing Asians as the majority of the population.”
He had a tough time getting a job as a teacher because he looked Korean. “I got really fed up with the country, discriminating against their own kind. The moms wanted to see a blond, blue-eyed gentleman up front. Even if he was a convict back home,” he said. “Korea’s like 20 to 30 years behind the U.S. in terms of social thinking. They had such a fast economic rise. Everything economically is on par with more developed countries, but the way they think about some things, like single mothers, is very behind. They’re trying to catch up, but it’s very slow.”
Warren just finished his first year of medical school at Ross University in Dominica in the Caribbean.