Accepting a ride from the boss will test all that advice
Published: 23 Jul. 2003, 01:18
The honk of a horn behind me was immediately irritating. “I’m walking here!” I thought angrily. I turned to see my boss, the hagwon’s owner, gesturing me inside his car for a respite from the chill. I was pleasantly surprised, even though it was literally a parking lot’s distance to the school’s door. Not wanting to appear rude by refusing his gesture of kindness, I hopped in.
After all, this was my first month in Korea, and I was told by everyone ― people who had been here, people who were currently here, by myriad books ― that Korea would be a wholly new encounter for me. This would be like nothing I had ever known, I was told.
This is a different culture, they said, and every gesture, every comment, would be read not only literally but symbolically, a telegraph of exactly what kind of person I am.
While I always take advice with a grain of salt, I was the new guy, and needed to be careful not to offend before I myself could ascertain if every interaction really counted as much as I was told it would.
The 30-second ride ended, and I started to open the car door. Then, I was staring, dumfounded, at the door handle. It was easy to examine closely, because it was no longer attached to the car. I had ripped it off the door.
The next step? Surreptitiously trying to push the handle back into place, in one of those hopes ― the ones we only have in these kinds of moments ― that perhaps the plastic would show a wonderful molecule-realigning capability and “heal” itself on the spot, Terminator-like. That did not happen.
Then I began to fear the repercussions of my action: What would my boss think of me now? I did not want the gnarled door handle to be a metaphor for the brutishness and stupidity of my people ― foreigners -- nor did I want him to think that I harbored any negative opinion of early-model Korean hybrid plastics. Rather, I merely wanted him to realize the brutishness and stupidity of me alone. I will be the first to admit my naivete; my year of experience here has told me that things don’t work like this at all. (Well, at least my Korean friends let me hang out with them after I do stupid things.)
Everything turned out fine between my boss and me; we ended up having a great relationship, and laughed about me redoing the car’s interior almost immediately. If I had listened to what people told me, I would be afraid to leave my house for fear of offending. My advice: Replace all those books ― and friendly advice ― with firsthand experience.
by Jason Zahorchak
with the Korea JoongAng Daily
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