The perils of love increase exponentially with distance

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The perils of love increase exponentially with distance

Q. I’m highly suspicious that my long-distance boyfriend is seeing someone else. What do I have to do to make him stay faithful to me?

A.Are you kidding? It doesn’t matter what you do ― there’s NOTHING you can do to stop him from seeing somebody else. Even if you chain him to your bedpost, he will find a way to see another girl if he wants to. Long-distance love can be tough. As the saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.” And remember that young men, driven by their raging hormones, are known to stray ― whether their girlfriends are keeping an eye on them or not. But that doesn’t mean that your long-distance relationship has to fail. If you really want to make it work it will take a lot of effort, time, patience, communication and expense (for phone bills, shipping gifts, travel, etc.). Above all it will take a lot of trust. Sound like too much work? Then find someone nearby.
Q. I started seeing a guy my own age because he was so free spirited and let me be myself. At least he did until very recently. I was surprised and even disturbed when he told me I should not wear a low-cut dress when I go out on weekends. I got really angry and have refused to speak to him since. Am I just being insecure?

A. Men love to show off how free-spirited, philosophical, creative, spiritual -- whatever they think they are -- to girls that they aren’t dating. But things change when they begin to really develop feelings for someone. I don’t know of any man who doesn’t care about the way his girlfriend looks in public. If he found you sexy in that low-cut dress and decided to pursue you, that is precisely why he doesn’t want you wearing the same thing in front of other guys. It’s hypocritical, for sure, but his thinking is that if it drew him to you it will draw other guys, too. By refusing to speak to him, you’ve made your point very clear. Give him another chance. If he’s a sensible guy, he won’t hassle you again. If he continues, he’s not too smart and will drive you crazy to the very end.
Q. My boyfriend has such a cute face. A lot of girls seem to find him attractive, but I’ve also found that men like him, too. Could he be gay?

A. Sounds like you’re desperately looking for trouble. Does your boyfriend suspect that you might be gay?

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by Ines Cho
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