Exciting news to start April off right

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Exciting news to start April off right

It is with great pride and pleasure today that I announce a truly magnificent development: Your favorite column is going worldwide.
Yes, you heard that right. Itaewon Wanderings, effective this very day, has gone into international syndication.
Commitments to run the column have already come from six world-renowned dailies, and more deals look likely.
Of course, this is a wonderful moment for me and for the column. But it wouldn’t have been possible without you readers.
You supported me through thick and thin. Through the spectacularly wrong predictions about new bars. Through the meandering interviews with juicy girls. Through the political chats with the gay community. Through all the love, and all the loss, and all the mornings after.
Thanks to you, word of Itaewon Wanderings spread around the globe like an infection in a sauna. Eventually, publishers in countries like Spain and France, as well as the United States, realized they needed to have it (the column, not the infection).
I’m happy to note that one of the six dailies that will henceforth be graced with Itaewon Wanderings on a weekly basis is the Los Angeles Times, the paper I grew up and housebroke puppies with. The others are the London Daily Mirror in Britain, Le Monde in France, Die Welt in Germany, El Pais in Spain and the People’s Daily in China. Not a single unrenowned paper on the list.
The really cool thing, though, is that most of those papers are published in other languages. So Itaewon Wanderings will now be translated into, and better enjoyed by, even more tongues.
For example, a line you might encounter in Itaewon Wanderings could go like this: “Sure, somebody threw that odeng away, but it might still taste pretty good right now.”
But if next week you read Itaewon Wanderings in Le Monde, that same sentence will look like this: “Sur, quelqu'un a gache cet odeng, mais il neanmoins gouterait probablement tres bon en ce moment.” You can understand my excitement.
I’d like to thank my lawyer for helping me beat the umpteen libel suits leveled at me over the past two years. He was also instrumental in scaring away and therefore silencing various Internet hecklers.
While I’m at it, I need to give a shout-out to Itaewon’s organized crime community, for helping me get this gig in the first place.
You guys are the best ― and don’t worry, I do intend to pay back the 500,000 won ($500) I still owe.
Lastly, as excited as I am with this wonderful achievement, I’d like to point out that this is only the beginning. Check back here a year from now ―that would be April 1, 2006, of course ― and I’ll tell you how many more newspapers have picked up Itaewon Wanderings. Maybe I’ll even have a TV deal to announce.

by Mike Ferrin
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