축객령

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축객령


진시황의 마음은 의심으로 기운다. 급기야 그가 내놓은 것이 ‘객을 모두 쫓아내라’는 축객
령(逐客令)이다. 진 나라 출신이 아닌 모든 외 국인 신료들은 보따리를 싸야 할 상황에 빠졌다. 우 나라 백리해, 송 나라 건숙, 진(晋)의 공손지 등 역대 진 왕실을 위해 몸과 머리를 바쳤던 외국 출신 인재들의 공로도 물거품이 될 판이었다.
후에 통일 진 제국의 재상에 오른 이사(李斯) 는 이 대목에서 등장한다. 초 나라 출신인 그는 당시 진 조정의 젊은 벼슬아치에 불과했지만 진시황에게 축객령을 거두라는 ‘간축객서(諫逐客書)’를 올린다. 그리고 묻는다. “진 나라 왕궁을 장식하는 곤산의 옥(玉)을 비롯한 수많은 보물과 후궁에 있는 숱한 미녀들 모두 원래부터 진 나라의 것이었느냐”고.

내가 한 영작
The First Emperor ⓐtilts to ⓑsuspicion. ⓒWhat he thereby produced was an order ⓓto boycott all foreign guests in the country.
Government officials ⓔnot originally from Qin had to pack their luggage. The great
achievements of ⓕmany gifted men who dedicated their ⓖmind and body to the ⓗ
royalty of Qin were about to be nullified. Li Si, who later ⓘbecomes the Prime Minister of the ⓙimperial dynasty of Qin, ⓚappears at this time. Originally from Cho, Li was a young official in ⓛthe court of Qin, ⓜbut he ⓝsubmits a letter to the First Emperor ⓞthat asks to withdraw the anti-guest order. He ⓟasks: did ⓠthe jades of ⓡthe Mountain Gon and ⓢnumerous other treasures that have adorned the ⓣpalace of Qin; ⓤmany beautiful ladies who ⓥserve the emperor ⓦin the palace all originally belong to Qin? The First Emperor was swayed by the suspicions. He ordered all of the aides from other countries to be expelled. Government officials who weren’t from the Qin dynasty had to pack their luggage. The great achievements of the many gifted men who dedicated their minds and bodies to the Qin royalty were about to be nullified. Li Si, who later became the prime minister of the Qin Imperial Dynasty, appeared.
Originally from Cho, Li was a young official in Qin’s court. He submitted a letter to the First Emperor asking that the anti-foreigner order be withdrawn. He asked, “Did all of the jade of Mount Gon and the numerous other treasures that have adorned the Qin palace and all of the beautiful ladies who served the emperor originally belong to Qin?”

Writing Tip
ⓐA guest is indeed somebody ⓑdifferent from one’s self. How the leader of a country ⓒwelcomes ⓓa guest determines the future of the country either ⓔto prosperity or to decay. It is ⓕa narrowness of mind to exclude ⓖeverything that is ⓗdifferent from my self. Surely it is not the way ⓘto prosperity of a country either.
An outsiders is indeed somebody different. How the leader of a country treats outsiders determines the future of the country, either prosperity or decay. It is narrow-minded to exclude anything that is different. Surely it is not the way for a country to prosper, either.

내가 한 영작

ⓐ tilts to → was swayed by 물리적인 기울임이 아니라 마음이 기울어졌음을 표현
ⓑ suspicion의 구체적인 내용이 이미 설명됐으므로 the 삽입 ⓒ What he thereby produced was an order → He ordered 한국어 표현에서 벗어나 의미 중심으로 간결하게
표현
ⓓ to boycott all foreign guests in the country → all of the aides from other countries to be expelled 문맥에 더 적합한 단어로 교체하여 의미 중심으로 표현
ⓔ not originally from Qin → who weren’t from the Qin dynasty 문맥상 불필요한 originally 삭제, 진제국을 명확히 표기하기 위해 dynasty 추가
ⓕ 진나라에 충성했던 특정 사람들을 가리키므로 the 삽입
ⓖ 여러 사람들의 몸과 마음을 얘기하고 있으므로 복수형으로 수정
ⓗⓙⓣ ~왕족, ~제국, ~왕국 등을 표기할 때에는 나라 또는 해당 이름을 바로 앞에 표기
ⓘⓝⓟⓥ 과거의 사건을 서술하고 있으므로 과거형으로 수정 ⓚ 과거시제로 변경하고, at this time은 문맥상 불필요하므로 삭제 ⓛ the court of Qin → Qin’s court 특정 사건이 아니라 단순히 진나라 조정을 가리키고 있으므로 the 삭제 ⓜ 앞 문장과 대조되는 상황이 아니므로 but 삭제 후 문장을 끊어서 간결하게 표현.
ⓞ that asks to withdraw the anti-guest order →asking that the anti-foreigner order be withdrawn 풀어서 쓴 문장을 꾸며주는 형태로 바꾸어 매끄럽게 표현, guest 는 ‘객’을 그대로 번역한 표현으로 조정에서 일하는 사람들을 나타내기에 부적합
ⓠ the jades → the jade 옥 원석을 나타내는 ‘jade’는 복수형으로 사용할 수 없음
ⓡ ‘곤산’은 고유명사이므로 the 삭제
ⓢ ‘왕궁에 있는 보물’을 가리키므로 the 삽입
ⓤ many beautiful ladies → all of the beautiful ladies 모든 보석과 모든 미녀들을 가르키는 것이므로 ⓦ의 originally 앞에 all을 넣을 것이 아니라 all의 수식 대상인 the beautiful ladies 와 ⓠthe jade of Mount Gon and the numerous other treasures 앞에 all of 를 넣어야 함
ⓦ 이미 진왕궁이 배경임을 알고 있으므로 중복되는 in the palace 삭제

JoongAng Daily
에디터가 수정한 문장
The First Emperor was swayed by the suspicions. He ordered all of the aides from
other countries to be expelled. Government officials who weren’t from the Qin dynasty had to pack their luggage. The great achievements of the many gifted men who dedicated their minds and bodies to the Qin royalty were about to be nullified.
Li Si, who later became the prime minister of the Qin Imperial Dynasty, appeared.
Originally from Cho, Li was a young official in Qin’s court. He submitted a letter to the First Emperor asking that the anti-foreigner order be withdrawn. He asked, “Did all of the jade of Mount Gon and the numerous other treasures that have adorned the Qin palace and all of the beautiful ladies who served the emperor originally belong to Qin?”

객(客)이란 결국 나와 다른 남, 즉 이기(異己)다. 지도자가 이를 어떻게 받아들이느냐에 따라 나라는 흥성과 쇠망의 길로 나뉜다. 나와 다른 것을 모두 배척한다면 용렬함이다. 국가를 융성으로 이끌 수 없다.

내가 한 영작
ⓐA guest is indeed somebody ⓑdifferent from one’s self. How the leader of a country ⓒwelcomes ⓓa guest determines the future of the country either ⓔto prosperity or to decay. It is ⓕa narrowness of mind to exclude ⓖeverything that is ⓗdifferent from my self. Surely it is not the way ⓘto prosperity of a country either.

Writing Tip
ⓐⓓ A guest → An outsider ‘객’이라는 단어 그대로의 번역에서 의미 중심으로 번역
ⓑ 불필요한 from one’s self 삭제, 참고로 oneself 가 옳은 단어임
ⓒ welcomes → treats 문맥상 ‘어떻게 받아들이냐’는 의미로 treat가 더 적절
ⓔ the future of the country와 either prosperity or decay가 동격으로 to 불필요
ⓕ a narrowness of mind → narrow-minded 어색한 표현을 실제 사용되는 표현으로 수정
ⓖ everything → anything
ⓗ 불필요한 from my self 삭제, 참고로 myself 가 옳은 단어
임.
ⓘ to prosperity of a country → for a country to prosper 문법상 부정확한 표현 수정

JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장

An outsiders is indeed somebody different. How the leader of a country treats outsiders determines the future of the country, either prosperity or decay. It is narrow-minded to exclude anything that is different. Surely it is not the way for a country to prosper, either.
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