여성 ROTC
뉴욕시립대학에 다닌 파월은 전공인 지리학에 흥미를 느꼈지만 대학 생활은 시들했다. 소속감을 느끼지 못해서다. 그러나 3학년 때 ROTC에 지원하면서 상황이 달라졌다. ROTC가 생애 처음으로 흑인인 자신을 떳떳한 조직의 일원으로 인정해 준 것이다. 그는 학생 연대장으로 활동하며 사람과 조직을 다루는 리더십을 쌓는다.내가 한 영작
Although he was interested in geology, ⓐwhen he attended City College of New York, his campus life was dull because he could not feel a sense of belonging. When he ⓑentered the junior class and joined the ROTC, ⓒthe situation changed. The ROTC recognized him, an African American, as a member of the organization for the first time in his life. Working as a student regimental commander, he ⓓestablished leadership and learned how to handle people and an organization.
JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장
Although he was interested in geology as a student at the City College of New York, he found it difficult to feel a sense of belonging. When he became a junior and joined the ROTC, his feelings changed. For the first time in his life, he was recognized as a member of an organization. Working as a student regimental commander, he honed his leadership skills and learned how to handle people and organizations. After being commissioned as an officer, he volunteered to participate in the Vietnam War.
Writing Tip
ⓐ when he attended → as a student at the ‘학교에 다닐 때’라는 우리말 식 표현을 ‘~의 학생이었을 때’라는 표현으로 수정
ⓑ entered the junior class → became a junior 3 학년 과정에 들어간 것이라기 보다는 3학년이 된 것임
ⓒ the situation → his feelings 문맥상 상황이 바뀌었다기 보다는 그의 감정이 달라졌다고 하는 것이 적절
ⓓ established leadership → honed his leadership skills 리더십을 확립했다기 보다는 리더십 스킬을 연마했다고 봐야 함
파월은 ROTC 장교 임관 후 베트남전에 자원했다. 한국에도 베트남전 참전 ROTC 장교가 적잖다. 국민배우 안성기도 그 대열에 낄 뻔했다. 한국외대 베트남어과에 진학한 그는 베트남전에 참전하기 위해 ROTC에 지원했다. 하지만 불행인지 다행인지 졸업 무렵 철군(撤軍)이 시작됐다. 베트남 꿈을 접고 포병 장교로 복무했다. 그는 요즘 김훈의 소설 ‘현의 노래’ 영화 촬영에 한창이다. 신라 장수(將帥) ‘이사부’ 역이다. ROTC 장교 정신이 녹아들면 실감 나는 장수 연기는 거저 되지 않을까 싶다.
내가 한 영작
After being commissioned as an officer, he volunteered to participate in the Vietnam War. In Korea, too, ⓐnot a small number of former ROTC officers ⓑparticipated in the Vietnam War. Popular actor Ahn Sung-ki could have ranked among them. After entering the Vietnamese department of the Hankuk University of Foreign Studies, he joined the ROTC to ⓒparticipate in the Vietnam War. For good or for evil, however, the withdrawal of troops from Vietnam started at around the time he graduated ⓓuniversity. He had to give up ⓔthe dream of participating in the War. ⓕInstead, he served as an officer at an artillery unit. Nowadays, he is busy filming a movie “Song of Hyeon” based on Kim Hoon’s novel of the same title. He plays Silla general Isabu. If only he exerts ROTC spirit, I think he ⓖcan play the role of a military general realistically.
JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장
In Korea, too, many former ROTC officers joined the Vietnam War. Popular actor Ahn Sung-ki was almost one of them. After entering the Vietnamese language department of the Hankuk University of Foreign Studies, he joined the ROTC to fight in Vietnam. However, the withdrawal from Vietnam started around the time he graduated from university. He had to give up his dream of participating in the war and served instead as an officer in an artillery unit. Now, he is busy filming “Song of String,” which is based on writer Kim Hoon’s novel of the same title. In the film, Ahn plays General Isabu from the Silla Dynasty (57 B.C.-935). If he manages to capture the ROTC spirit, I think he will play the role of a military general realistically.
Writing Tip
ⓐ not a small number of → many 간결한 말로 수정
ⓑ participated in → joined 참전한다고 할 때 participate in 보다는 join이 적절
ⓒ participate in → fight in participate가 적절하지 않으므로 수정해야 하는데 앞에서 join을 썼으므로 이번에는 fight in을 씀, 영어에서는 같은 표현을 피하는 경향이 강함
ⓓ university → from university 졸업을 뜻하는 graduate 다음에 ‘벗어남’을 뜻하는 전치사 ‘from’이 와야 함
ⓔ the dream → his dream 누구나 알 수 있는 꿈이 아니므로 the 대신 관사 자리에 his를 쓰는 것이 자연스러움
ⓕ Instead, he served → and served instead 이어지는 내용이므로 접속사로 연결함
ⓖ can → will 조건을 나타내는 if절 다음이므로 will이 자연스러움
with the Korea JoongAng Daily
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