100세의 실종히말라야의 ‘훈자’는 태곳적 신비의 자연 풍광으로 유명하다. 샹그릴라를 그린 제임스 힐튼의 소설 『잃어버린 지평선』에 영감을 주었고, 미야자키 하야오의 애니메이션 ‘바람계곡의 나우시카’ 배경이다. 그러나 훈자가 유명한 것은 그림 같은 자연이 아니라 장수촌으로서다. 코카서스의 압하지아와 안데스의 빌카밤바와 더불어 세계 3대 장수마을이다. 공통점은 모두가 거대한 산맥에 위치해 있고, 공기와 물이 맑다는 것이다.
내가 한 영작
The Hunza Valley in the northern areas of Pakistan is famous for mysteriously beautiful scenery ⓐ preserved since ancient times. The valley gave the inspiration of Shanggri-la to James Hilton, the author of “Lost Horizon.” It is also the background of “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind,” a feature anime directed by Hayao Miyazaki. ⓑHunza Valley is not only famous for its natural scenery, but also ⓒfor reputation for longevity. Along with Haphazia in Russian Caucasus and Vilcabamba in Ecuador, Hunza Valley is called three places of longevity in the world. The common points are that the air and water there are fresh and clean as they are situated in big mountain chains.
JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장
The Hunza Valley in the northern area of Pakistan is famous for mysteriously beautiful scenery that has been preserved since ancient times. The valley was the inspiration for Shangri-La in James Hilton’s novel “Lost Horizon.” It is also the backdrop for “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind,” a manga series and animated feature by Hayao Miyazaki.
The Hunza Valley is not only famous for its natural scenery, but also for residents who live very long lives. Along with Aphasia in the Russian Caucasus and Vilcabamba in Ecuador, the Hunza Valley is known as one of the three places for longevity in the world. Situated amid large mountain ranges, they all have access to clean air and fresh water.
ⓐ 없음 → that has been 과거부터 현재까지를 아우르는 since가 있으므로 단순이과거분사 preserved로만 수식하지 않고 현재 완료형이 쓰인 관계대명사절로 수식.
ⓑ Hunza Valley → The Hunza Valley.
ⓒ for reputation for longevity → for residents who live very long lives 앞서 famous가 나왔으므로 평판을 뜻하는 reputation을 쓰면 의미의 중복이 됨.
일본의 오키나와는 섬인데도 장수촌이다. 인구 130만 명 가운데 100세 이상 노인이 700명이 넘는다. 여기선 ‘70세 어린이, 80세 젊은이’라고 한다. ‘나이 90에 조상들이 천국으로 부르거든 기다리시라 하라. 100세가 되면 생각해 보겠노라고’란 속담이 있을 정도다. 그러자 이들을 따라 하자는 ‘오키나와 프로그램’까지 나왔다. 오키나와 주민들은 하루 평균 18가지 음식을 먹는데, 이 중 78%가 풀이라고 한다. 주로 곡물과 채소류와 해조류다. 고기도 굽지 않고 삶아서 먹어 ‘오키나와식 조리법’도 생겼다.
내가 한 영작
Although it is ⓐnot a mountainous area but an island, Okinawa Island of Japan is also a place of longevity. Among 1.3 million inhabitants, there are over 700 senior citizens ⓑwho are over the age of 100. In Okinawa, they say that a septuagenarian is a child and an octogenarian is a youth. There is even an old saying: “If your ancestors call you to the heaven when you reach 90, tell them to wait and that you ⓒwould think about it when you ⓓcome to the age of 100.” Then, there even emerged “Okinawa program” that encouraged people to follow the life style of Okinawa’s inhabitants. It is said that an average of 18 kinds of food is consumed by them and 78 percent of them are vegetables. Their staple ⓔfood is grain, vegetable and seaweed. ⓕWhen they cook meat, ⓖthey do not roast or grill, but simmer and they developed the “Okinawa-style” cookery.
JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장
Although it is an island, Okinawa in Japan is also a place of longevity. Among its 1.3 million inhabitants, there are more than 700 senior citizens over the age of 100. In Okinawa, they say that a septuagenarian is a child and an octogenarian is a youth. There is even an old saying: “If your ancestors call you to heaven when you reach 90, tell them to wait and that you’ll think about it when you’re 100.” There was even an “Okinawa program” in which people could follow the lifestyle of the Okinawans. The island’s residents consume 18 kinds of food, 78 percent of which are vegetables. Their staple foods are grain, vegetables and seaweed. When they do cook meat, it is not roasted or grilled.
ⓐ not a mountainous area but an island → an island 간결한 표현으로 수정.
ⓑ who are → 삭제 없어도 됨
ⓒ would → will 과거나 가정을 뜻하는 would를 쓸 이유가 없음.
ⓓ come to the age of → are 간결하게 수정.
ⓔ food is grain, vegetable and seaweed → foods are grain, vegetables and seaweed 뒤에 주식이 여러 종류로 나열되므로 복수형 foods가 적절.
ⓕ When they cook meat → When they do cook meat 고기를 잘 안 먹지만 그래도 고기를 해먹는 경우를 뜻하므로 강조의 조동사 do 첨가.
ⓖ they do not roast or grill → it is not roasted or grilled 사람들이 볶거나 굽는다고 표현하여 사람에 초점을 맞추기 보다는 음식을 주어로 하는 것이 바람직.