새들의 죽음
양쯔강엔 한때 돌고래가 뛰놀았다. 2m 길이에 무게 250㎏의 우람한 녀석들은 덩치랑 안 어울리게 ‘여신’이라 불리며 어부들의 숭배를 받았다. 강물에 빠져 죽은 공주의 환생이란 슬픈 전설 때문이다. 미신을 없애고 우상을 타파하라는 마오쩌둥(毛澤東·모택동)의 지시로 포획이 시작됐다. 수천 마리에 달했던 희귀 민물 돌고래가 흔적도 없이 사라졌다. 지난 50년간 사람 탓에 멸종된 최초의 거대 척추동물이다.내가 한 영작
ⓐThere once lived dolphins in ⓑthe river of Yangtze in China. The 2-meter-long, 240 kilogram freshwater dolphins were revered ⓒby the fishermen as ⓓthe “goddess.” According to the legend, they are reincarnation of a princess who had been drowned in the river. However, Mao Zedong ordered to capture the dolphins during the Great Leap Forward as a part of the campaign to eradicate superstition and idol worship. Thousands of dolphins went extinct instantly, making them the first large vertebrates to become extinct because of humans in 50 years.
Korea JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장
Dolphins once lived in the Yangtze River in China. The 2-meter-long, 240-kilogram freshwater dolphins were revered as goddesses. According to legend, they are the offspring of a princess who was drowned in the river. But Mao Zedong ordered the dolphins’ capture during the Great Leap Forward as a part of a campaign to eradicate superstition and idol worship. Thousands of dolphins instantly went extinct, making them the first large vertebrates to become extinct because of humans in 50 years.
Writing Tip
ⓐ There once lived dolphins → Dolphins once lived 동화책에 쓰이는 어투를 일반 어투로 수정
ⓑ the river of Yangtze → the Yangtze River 양쯔강의 공식 명칭으로 수정
ⓒ by the fishermen → 없음 본문은 어부들의 숭배를 받았다고 되어있으나 논리적으로 반드시 어부들만이 아니라 다른 사람들도 돌고래를 숭배했다고 표현하는 것이 논리적
ⓓ the “goddess.” → goddesses 돌고래가 한 마리가 아니므로 돌고래를 지칭하는 goddess도 복수형으로 수정
마오쩌둥 때문에 씨가 마를 뻔한 생물은 또 있다. ‘대약진 운동’이 전개된 1958년 참새 학살령이 떨어졌다. 사람 먹을 곡식을 쪼아댄 죄다. 가장 주효했던 수단은 냄비 두드리기다. 요란한 소리에 놀라 아무 데도 못 내려앉고 날다 지쳐 죽은 새들이 부지기수였다. 이듬해 ‘참새의 저주’가 닥쳤다. 천적이 사라진 들판에 해충이 들끓어 곡식 수확이 곤두박질했다. 2년 만에 3000만 명이 굶어 죽고 나서야 박멸 운동은 막을 내렸다.
내가 한 영작
Another creature that almost went extinct in China because of Mao Zedong is the sparrow. In 1958, Mao announced the Great Sparrow Campaign, which was initiated to kill sparrows that were eating farmers’ grain. One of the most effective ways of killing the birds was to bang ⓐpans and pots. The birds were frightened by the noise and could not find a place to rest, causing them to die of exhaustion. But the curse of the sparrows ⓑwas on China in the following year. The sparrows ⓒeat more insects ⓓand locusts than grains, and after their natural enemy disappeared, the insects swarmed the fields, destroying the harvest. The Great Sparrow Campaign come to an end only when 30 million people died of starvation in the Great Chinese Famine.
Korea JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장
Another creature that almost went extinct in China because of Mao Zedong is the sparrow. In 1958, Mao announced the Great Sparrow Campaign, which was initiated to kill sparrows that were eating farmers’ grain. One of the most effective ways of killing the birds was to bang pots and pans. The birds were frightened by the noise and could not find a place to rest, causing them to die of exhaustion. But the curse of the sparrows continued the following year. The sparrows had eaten more insects than grain, and after their natural enemy disappeared, the insects swarmed the fields, destroying the harvest. The Great Sparrow Campaign come to an end only when 30 million people died of starvation in the Great Chinese Famine.
Writing Tip
ⓐ pans and pots → pots and pans 영어에 자연스러운 순서로 단어 배열
ⓑ was on China in → continued 저주가 그냥 있었다기 보다는 저주가 잇따랐다고 표현
ⓒ eat → had eaten 갑자기 일반적인 사실에 현재 시제는 어색함, 대과거는 과거완료로 표현
ⓓ and locusts → 없음 메뚜기는 곤충에 포함됨
with the Korea JoongAng Daily
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