Sun in your heavens makes a happy wife

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Sun in your heavens makes a happy wife


A friend of mine called one day and wanted to have a drink. He said he had stormed out of his house after an intense quarrel. He has been married long enough to know better than to fight with his wife, but he is in his 40s and still thinks that he can stand up against his wife. It was an inconceivably bold act. I told him he should go back immediately, apologize for his challenge and keep himself out of sight for a while. After a few drinks, I pushed him back home.

We’ve all had our share of family fights. I, too, had intense quarrels with my wife when I was naive. One day, all of a sudden, it occurred to me that I should no longer live this way. Most of all, it was embarrassing to be a father who fought with his wife in front of my children. At the same time, the quarrels and tensions made my life miserable.

So I hypnotized myself, telling myself that my wife is the sun of my household. At the same time, I vowed that a quarrel with my wife was no longer in my dictionary. Mysteriously, peace came to my home. Anxiety disappeared from the faces of my children, and our home was filled with refreshing energy and happy laughter. I do not go against my wife’s words; actually, I agree with just about everything she says. When she is in a good mood, I casually throw in my opinions. I guarantee a 100-percent success rate.

A couple was breaking up over the educational obsession of the wife, and the court ruled in favor of the husband as they filed for divorce and a split of assets. The court called the wife accountable for the collapse of the family as she had insulted her child over his studies and failed to fulfill her duty as a wife and a mother. The court told the wife to give 10 million won ($8,490) in settlement. The mother had physically and verbally abused her young son for not getting the grades she had hoped for. She created friction with her husband, who tried to stop the domestic violence, and the couple slept in different rooms and had not spoken for years.

Could the husband have used my tactic? Well, only God knows what really goes on between couples.

As there cannot be two suns in the sky, there is a place for only one sun in each household, organization or nation.

By the way, I worship my wife as the sun not in defeat or compromise. I acknowledge that she is better than me in many ways. This is precisely my point. I do not dare to challenge my wife.

*The writer is an editorial writer of the JoongAng Ilbo.

By Bae Myung-bok
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