청렴한 선비의 귀임 행장은 병이 나은 듯 맑고 깨끗해 낡은 수레 야윈 말로 족하다

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청렴한 선비의 귀임 행장은 병이 나은 듯 맑고 깨끗해 낡은 수레 야윈 말로 족하다

1995년 5월 17일 오전 대통령 전용차인 검은색 르노 한 대가 엘리제궁을 미끄러져 나왔다. 전용차는 경찰 모터사이클의 에스코트를 받으며 포부르 생토노레 길을 지나 루아얄 길로 우회전한 뒤 콩코드 광장에 접어들었다. 이윽고 콩코드 다리 앞에 이르자 전용차가 멈춰 섰다. 뒷문이 열리고 구부정한 어깨에 늙수그레한 남자가 차에서 내렸다. 이젠 전임자가 된 프랑수아 미테랑 프랑스 대통령이었다.


내가 한 영작
ⓐIn the morning of May 17, 1997, ⓑa black Renault sedan, the official state car of France, left the Elysee Palace, the residence of the President of ⓒthe French Republic. ⓓThe car was escorted by police motorcycles as it passed Rue du Faubourg Saint Honore and reached the Place de la Concorde. In front of the bridge, Pont de la Concorde, the car stopped. ⓔThe back door opened and an old man with drooping shoulders got out. It was Francois Maurice Adrien Mitterrand, the outgoing president of France.

Korea JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장
ⓐOn the morning of May 17, 1997, ⓑa black car left Elysee Palace, the residence of the president of ⓒFrance, ⓓwith a police escort. Upon reaching the Pont de la Concorde bridge, the car stopped, the back door opened and an elderly man got out. ⓔ It was Francois Mitterrand, the outgoing president of France.

Writing Tip
ⓐ In the morning of May 17, 1997 → On the morning of May 17, 1997 특정한 날짜가 있으므로 날짜에 쓰는 전치사 on을 in 대신 써야함
ⓑ a black Renault sedan, the official state car of France → a black car 논지를 흐리지 않도록 불필요한 정보 생략
ⓒ the French Republic → France 영어에서는 한 대상을 다양한 표현으로 지칭함, 수정 과정에서 우선적으로 쓰인 France가 삭제되어, 프랑스를 다시 받아 the~라고 표현한 부분을 France로 수정
ⓓ The car was escorted by police motorcycles as it passed Rue du Faubourg Saint Honore and reached the Place de la Concorde. In front of the bridge, Pont de la Concorde, the car stopped. → with a police escort. Upon reaching the Pont de la Concorde bridge, the car stopped, the back door opened and an elderly man got out 필수적이지 않은 정보와 묘사를 생략
ⓔ The back door opened and an old man with drooping shoulders got out. It was Francois Maurice Adrien Mitterrand, the outgoing president of France → It was Francois Mitterrand, the outgoing president of France 문장의 맨 뒤에 배치되는 정보는 중요성을 띠거나 새로운 정보임, 미테랑이 새롭게 제시되는 상황이 아니고 미테랑이 퇴임하는 모습이 중요한 정보임



미테랑이 대통령이 된 지 30주년인 올해 프랑스 언론들은 앞다퉈 그의 삶을 재조명했다. 프랑스 국민들이 가장 존경하는 대통령으로 여전히 미테랑이 드골과 수위 다툼을 하고 있는 까닭이다. 두 집 살림을 하느라 엘리제궁을 자주 비웠던 그였지만, 장례식 때 숨겨둔 딸이 나타나 사람들을 놀랜 그였지만, 프랑스 국민들 가슴에 여전히 ‘몽셰르통통(우리 아저씨)’으로 남아 있다.


내가 한 영작
This year marks 30th anniversary of Mitterrand’s election as ⓐthe resident, and French media are busy highlighting his life. ⓑMitterrand and Charles de Gaulle are competing in popularity contest among French citizens on the most respected president. He is known for extramarital affairs with a long-time mistress, and ⓒhe surprised the public as a daughter he had kept secret came to his funeral. Nevertheless, the French people remembers him as “mon cher tonton.”

Korea JoongAng Daily 에디터가 수정한 문장
This year marks the 30th anniversary of Mitterrand’s election as ⓐpresident, and the French media are busy highlighting his life. In addition to his leadership, he is known for his extramarital affairs, most notably with longtime mistress ⓒAnne Pingeot, who surprised the public by attending his funeral because she had previously been a well-kept secret. Nevertheless, the French still hold him in such high regard that ⓑhe could compete with Charles de Gaulle as the country’s most respected president.

Writing Tip
ⓐ the president → president 직책에는 일반적으로 관사 생략
ⓑ Mitterrand and Charles de Gaulle are competing in popularity contest among French citizens on the most respected president.was about → he could compete with Charles de Gaulle as the country’s most respected president 실제로 미테랑이 드골과 경제하는 것이 아니므로 가정법으로 표현하여 are competing 대신 could compete를 사용해야함, 결론적인 내용에 해당하므로 단락 끝에 배치
ⓒ he surprised the public as a daughter he had kept secret came to his funeral → Anne Pingeot, who surprised the public by attending his funeral because she had previously been a well-kept secret 죽은 미테랑이 사람들을 놀라게 한 것이 아님, 놀라게 하는 주체를 실제 인물로 변경

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