Secrets to good relationship with wife
Published: 21 May. 2012, 20:10
Recently, a hypothetical questions and answers became a hot issue online. A girl asks her boyfriend, “Have I gained weight lately?” The man would deny, agree or avoid to answer, but the girl’s conclusion is always the same. “Well, let’s break up.” Naturally, men are confused. “What do you want?” “What should I do?” “There is no way out!”
The mysterious and ambiguous flow of the female psychology is amplified to the extreme in the movie “Everything about My Wife.” The film’s heroin Jeongin is not pleased with most of the things in the world, especially the manners and languages of her husband. And she does not hide her feelings. Her husband tries to avoid arguing with her at any cost, only to fail every time. Jeongin is a master of picking a fight. She would begin digging into something he has mentioned then soon move on to all other subjects. She is driving him crazy, but the husband cannot find a flaw in her logic. He cannot deal with her any longer, so he asks Seonggi, an enigmatic philanderer next door, to seduce his wife.
Throughout the movie, I inwardly repeated, “Oh, my! That is so true!” I thought of a few people I know who resemble Jeongin’s character, and I had been like her too, before I realized that an endless cycle of arguments is meaningless. Columnist Lee Sang-heon, who wrote “The Language for Success, the Language for Failure,” says that some couples look at each other from a perspective of an investigator, attacking the spouse once they discover a problem. When you insult your spouse in front of other people, you may think of it as a victory. But it is, in fact, a shortcut to disaster. What if you know your problem and don’t try to correct the behavior?
American counselor Barbara H. Levine wrote in her book, “Your Body Believes Every Word You Say” that when you hide emotions in your body, you would use a lot of energy without realizing. Especially the feelings like anger build up rapidly. As a result, you would explode on the people you love or blame others for the feeling. Sometimes, you just cannot deal with the grief you have not resolved in time and break out in tears in a situation that is completely unrelated. All man must have an experience of being in an awkward situation of his wife or girlfriend suddenly crying and not knowing the cause.
It explains the status Jeongin is at in the movie. She is devastated because of the lack of communication with her husband and expresses the loneliness in a form of biting remarks. She is sending a message to rescue her. The husband fails to catch the signal, but Seonggi detects her feelings. What has made Seonggi a womanizer may be that sensitiveness. Do you find your wife extremely annoying? If she makes discouraging and disparaging remarks, try holding her hands for a moment. How about singing a serenade, just like Seonggi did in the movie? She would say, “You are crazy,” but smile coyly. And that is the beautiful smile that had made you fall in love.
The author is an editorial writer for the JoongAng Ilbo.
by Lee Na-ree
with the Korea JoongAng Daily
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