Healing does not come from others

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Healing does not come from others

The new year has come. The Year of the Dragon has passed, and the Year of the Snake has arrived. In a way, it is truly incredible that we are standing at the starting point of a new year without much trouble. We’ve been through thunderstorms and faced many obstacles. But we did not give up or fall behind and have come this far. We may need to praise our admirable strength and patience.

Hoping that snow on the first day of the year is an auspicious sign, I walked the streets in the morning. As I carefully took steps, I contemplated how I should cross the bridge of 2013, which will never come back in life. Everything in life depends on how you make up your mind. A wise man thinks positively and keeps smiling no matter what happens.

A friend of mine never loses the smile on his face, and his mind is like a box of chocolates. It is, in fact, a beautiful box filled with all kinds of delicious chocolate. Upon opening the box, some would start by choosing the least appealing option. But others would pick the most delicious looking piece of chocolate in the box.

This friend was the latter. No matter the variety, he always got to enjoy delicious chocolate. Those who began from the least tasty looking candy, on the other hand, ended up having a box of unsatisfying treats.

Depending on how it is perceived, the same problem can be viewed differently by different people. This realization was the secret for my friend’s positive perspective on life.

It is a mistake and an illusion to think that life is always pleasant and bright. Even the state cannot change the chaotic world we live in. Life is 51 percent rolling in rejoice and 48 percent frustration.

We carry many responsibilities and thus cannot avoid being hurt in the course of life. And when bad things happen, a few words of consolation from other people cannot bring complete healing. Healing cannot come from others. We have to heal on our own. We need to resort to positive thinking and wait for time to close the wound.

People have different methods to get over bad news. Some simply pace, while others climb mountains. Some people want to talk about their pain, drink or eat excessively, or read.

This year, we will all get hurt - some lightly and others more seriously. In any case, we need to find ways to heal ourselves without leaning on others.

No matter what life happens to throw at us, we should not forget laughter and composure while maintaining positive thinking. When you don’t anticipate anything from other people, you will be able to truly appreciate unexpected kindness or even small favors. Keeping low standards for others is the way to happiness.

*The author is an editorial writer of the JoongAng Ilbo.
By Bae Myung-bok
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