Coping with loss as an international student

K-campus

Published: 30 Jul. 2022, 07:00 Updated: 03 Mar. 2023, 17:46

Coping with loss as an international student

[SHUTTERSTOCK]

Dealing with my first bereavement recently, I found myself quite taken aback when I realized that I would have to cope with it on my own while living in a foreign country, in my case Korea.

BENJAMIN DEVISE

Whether you're surrounded by supportive friends or feeling isolated and alone, reaching out to a mental health professional can be a huge help to people dealing with loss or traumatic events. Having gone through this process myself and talked to a number of other people that have, I hope that my experience can help other people struggling to come to terms with their own circumstances.

In most cultures, the death of a family member is almost always followed by a gathering of family members that come together to remember the deceased person's life and support each other. For international students based overseas, however, traveling home to attend a funeral is often unfeasible, leaving them alone and isolated from family as they struggle to cope with the loss.

I am not the only person that has had to deal with a similar situation. Ana, a 23-year-old French start-up worker living in Seoul, struggled with her isolation after the death of a close family member.

"I remember feeling lonely, even though I have my fiancé and friends in Seoul, but not being able to meet up with all my family at a time like this was hard," said Ana.

As an international student in Seoul, the situation was similar for me as I dealt with my own loss while thousands of miles away from my family in Europe. Despite being able to join them for online meetings via Zoom and Skype, it was easy to feel excluded from the family unit.

The time difference is also "a barrier," says Ana. "I almost felt like I was in a different dimension from my parents."

Despite these criticisms, new technologies do allow us to maintain a much stronger link than before, and we are often much more at ease with these digital tools now that the Covid-19 pandemic has turned our daily lives upside down.

"We're not so alone either," adds Ana. "Although we are far from our family, friends have been there for me at this time and have supported me."

"There is a strong bond between foreigners and international students here, we are all in the same boat, so we support each other a lot."

But sometimes the support of friends is not enough. In this case, reaching out to a therapist can be a big help, but finding that support while living overseas is never easy.

I started my journey with a simple Google search, finding that several institutes in Seoul offer "English Counseling" or are "Foreigner friendly," especially in Itaewon, central Seoul, and Gangnam, southern Seoul. However, the Korean National Health Insurance Service, which is compulsory for all foreigners living in Korea for more than six months, does not cover such consultations.

For Ana, who has suffered anxiety attacks in the past, the simplest choice was to continue to have sessions via Zoom with her psychologist in France. As Ana already had that relationship, her psychologist agreed to see her online because in-person meetings were not an option.

This allowed Ana to continue to receive therapy in French, but if she had not already had that contact in place, finding a suitable therapist from the other side of the world would not have been an easy task.

A more pragmatic solution exists on some campuses in Korea.

Most universities offer help centers to provide psychological support. These services are normally free and available without much planning, and some may also offer professional therapy over several sessions.

The Student Counselling Centre at Korea University, for example, says on its website that it offers formal therapy services in weekly, 50-minute sessions. Most centers also offer both individual and group therapy sessions.

“Psychiatrists in Korea have a tendency to prescribe a ton of medicine, however since universities are offering counselling you do not have to worry about this kind of thing”, explains Josie, a senior at Seoul National University that used to get help from the counselling center on campus.

As an international student, finding help while coping with psychological distress can be difficult, especially in a foreign language. It is worth noting that some counselling centers such as Yonsei University offer this service in several languages including English and Chinese.

Taking care of your mental health as an international student is crucial, and it is important to get help if you need it. Living abroad can cause stress and anxiety at times and there is no shame in feeling this way.

University counselling centers

Ewha Womans University

Student Counselling Center: +82-2-3277-3219

Korea University
Main Campus Student Counselling Center: +82-2-3290-1540, 1543

Yonsei University
International Counseling & Coaching Services (ICCS): globaldiasporamn@gmail.com
Office: 02)2123-6244(Korean) / 070-4040-3081 (English)

Seoul National University
Centre for Campus Life and Culture: +82-2-880-5501
24-hour counselling: +82-2-880-8080

Contact your university for more information on available counselling services.

BY STUDENT REPORTER BENJAMIN DEVISE [kjd.kcampus@joongang.co.kr]