Survivor of Itaewon crush shares healing process to help others suffering

Flowers to pay respect to the victims of the Itaewon tragedy are laid in front of the police's access restriction line near the incident site on Monday. [YONHAP]

“Am I a survivor?” a 33-year-old who made it out of the Itaewon tragedy alive asked her therapist.

The tragic Itaewon crush claimed over 150 lives on the night of Oct. 29.

The survivor started sharing her counseling log on her post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms and the conversations with her counselor online from Nov. 2, after her counselor recommended she share her grief with others.

Her posts went viral and have since been consoling those who share similar pain.

“I hope people who are suffering from the same pain can heal through my treatment process,” the survivor told the JoongAng Ilbo, an affiliate of the Korea JoongAng Daily, on the phone on Sunday.

The survivor, who was stuck in the middle of the crowd in the alley where the tragedy took place, was able to avoid being crushed after someone from a store nearby pulled her out.

“I don’t think I am a survivor. I wasn’t even included in the casualties of over 300 people that day,” the survivor wrote.

The counselor tossed another question.

“Why don’t you think you are a victim as well? Everyone who wasn’t able to sleep that night or who had been waiting for the briefings of the tragedy is also a victim. We need to change our perspective.”

These words were a huge consolation for the survivor, who said she kept on asking herself if she was a survivor of the tragedy. She relayed feeling so much guilt escaping from the site, not being able to help anyone else.

“There were moments that I felt disgusted by myself,” the survivor continued. “I was asked to help perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation [CPR] at the site but just ran home because I was so scared.”

The survivor has been suffering from symptoms of trauma such as a pounding heartbeat but is slowly recovering through counseling sessions.

Her posts on the vivid scene of the tragedy and her confessions soon gained traction, with so many people commenting, “I feel the same way.” Not a single hate comment could be found on her posts, which the survivor said was a “miracle” to her.

“I felt I was getting healed after reading each comment,” she said.

“I hope everyone can be aware that we all, directly and indirectly, are survivors of the incident."

The Itaewon tragedy claimed 156 lives on the night of Oct. 29, including 26 foreigners, according to the Central Disaster and Safety Countermeasure Headquarters.

BY CHAE HYE-SON, CHO JUNG-WOO [cho.jungwoo1@joongang.co.kr]