Raise your voice — louder

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Raise your voice — louder

Published: 28 Mar. 2025, 00:03

Audio report: written by reporters, read by AI

Hur Ji-won

The author is a professor at Korea University, school of psychology.

When I overhear someone on the street say, “That was traumatic for me,” I often feel the urge to jump in and ask, “How exactly was that trauma?!” The term “trauma” is often misunderstood. In psychological terms, it carries significant weight, referring to experiences involving death or serious threats to life, such as severe injury or sexual violence. Trauma refers to either directly experiencing such events or learning that someone close has undergone them. When memories, thoughts and images related to the trauma come flooding in; when the person becomes hypervigilant; and when they begin to avoid anything that reminds them of the experience — we begin to consider a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Sadly, traumatic experiences don’t always come as one-off events. For some, abuse and violence persist for years, or they live amid ongoing conflict and war. This kind of prolonged, repeated trauma can lead to more complex and severe symptoms. Enter complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD).

A psychotherapy session. [GETTY IMAGES]

There are distinct symptoms. The first is emotional dysregulation — difficulty processing and managing overwhelming negative emotions, which can manifest as deep anger, depression or emotional numbness. One’s sense of self is also distorted. A person may come to believe that they are fundamentally flawed, broken or weak. And most profoundly, they may struggle to trust others or the world at large, having been wounded too deeply by people. In fear of being hurt or let down again, they withdraw all expectations of others. The idea of a just world — where wrongdoers are punished — feels like a fairy tale, and they abandon efforts to save themselves. “What more can I possibly do? I tried so desperately, screamed so loudly, and it made no difference.” Worn down by a history of violence, they are left confused and powerless.

What’s needed at this point is your story. And not in some vague, metaphorical sense. Therapies effective for complex trauma are rooted in helping individuals recall and articulate their experiences with precision. There are two key reasons for this. First, to help the person logically reconstruct what happened — what they thought and felt at the time. Second, to let parts of those traumatic memories gradually dissipate through storytelling.

Traumatic memories are often fragmented, buried, exaggerated or chaotic. The task is to piece them together in chronological order and form a coherent narrative. To look clearly at what actually did or didn’t happen. To reflect on what you thought, how you reacted what emotions you felt. As you revisit those war-zone-like moments, you may feel a wave of compassion for yourself — how could anyone have endured all that? Sit with that feeling. Only by knowing your experience in fine detail can you offer yourself finely tuned comfort.

And if, after enduring such prolonged disaster, you now believe you’re irrevocably broken — that the world is cruel, unfair and dangerous — if these thoughts are draining your hope and leading you toward despair, then it’s time to examine your story more carefully. Look for the places where change is still possible. Understand that it’s not you who is broken, but rather your brain's protective mechanisms that have slowed things down to keep you safe. Realize that, if you just reach out, there are people ready and willing to help you. Just as you have been there for others, others will come to be there for you. Take your time. Tell your story more truthfully. Identify the thoughts that are simply not true.

There’s also a neurological reason why we must speak our trauma aloud. Remember the end of a school term, when all the information you crammed for finals vanished from your mind almost instantly? Long-term memories stored in the hippocampus are far more fragile than we think. When we recall an event and speak about it, those memories temporarily destabilize — making it possible for them to fade. That’s why uncomfortable memories need to be voiced loudly. If it’s something you wish to forget, speak it, write it down, draw it — and then let it go. The louder you tell the story, the more your hippocampus lets it slip away. That’s enough, it says. You’ve done well. But let’s make sure the story ends like this: “Still, I survived.” You are both the witness and the survivor of this story. That is the truth. And it’s a truth of immeasurable worth.

Just moments ago, it might have seemed like all your efforts were for nothing. You may still be sitting in quiet despair. But in truth, those efforts have kept you alive all along. Your story — uniquely yours — has pushed you to survive, helped those who love you survive, and proved its worth every single day, every single moment. Even last night. Even this morning. Your determination has saved you.

And remember this piece you’re reading now. Remember that, even in your weariness — when you were so close to giving up — you read it through to the end. From this moment on, your story begins to shift. It begins to move in a new direction — toward something greater than before.

Translated using generative AI and edited by Korea JoongAng Daily staff.