'I will live and remember you': Those who lost loved ones to suicide reflect on grief and healing
Published: 23 Nov. 2025, 16:25
Updated: 24 Nov. 2025, 12:54
![Participants write a letter of support for a suicide prevention campaign at the Cheonggye Plaza in Jongno District, central Seoul, on Sept. 18. [YONHAP]](https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/data/photo/2025/11/24/6682ca91-ea6e-42d5-a48f-8ce5dd4c761a.jpg)
Participants write a letter of support for a suicide prevention campaign at the Cheonggye Plaza in Jongno District, central Seoul, on Sept. 18. [YONHAP]
“You left so coldly without ever looking back on that spring day, when so many flower petals were falling. The more time passes, the more I miss and think of you […] At first, living without you did not feel like living at all. But [as I now have] the support of so many people, you can let go of your worries [for me] now. When it is my time to go, please do not forget me, and come greet me.”
Kim Bok-yeon, who lost her beloved husband without warning, wrote this in tears.
The couple, who “worked tirelessly to live well despite having so little,” was torn in two when Kim's aging husband took his own life. Kim initially shut herself inside her home. Thanks to the people around her, however, she eventually stepped outside again and found her smile. The longing, though, remains overwhelming. When she cooks a meal that her husband used to love, it never tastes the same. Yet she gathers her strength every day and tells herself, “Just try to live the day well.”
Pain remains with the ‘suicide-bereaved’
![Prime Minister Kim Min-seok talks with a consultant at the Korea Foundation for Suicide Prevention office in Jung District, central Seoul, on Sept. 12. The government held a strategy meeting for suicide prevention on the same day. [NEWS1]](https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/data/photo/2025/11/24/d0a98cad-fa84-4730-82fc-41d056c2f099.jpg)
Prime Minister Kim Min-seok talks with a consultant at the Korea Foundation for Suicide Prevention office in Jung District, central Seoul, on Sept. 12. The government held a strategy meeting for suicide prevention on the same day. [NEWS1]
Kim’s writing was included in this year’s anthology for families, friends and colleagues affected by suicide, or the "suicide-bereaved," as part of a series of projects and events held by the Ministry of Health and Welfare and the Korea Foundation for Suicide Prevention on Thursday and Friday for International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day — a day for families affected by suicide to share their experiences of mourning and healing.
Korea continues to record the highest suicide rate, according to the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development. Last year alone, 14,872 people died by suicide.
Those who lose a loved one often face years, if not a lifetime, of guilt and anger. It does not matter whether the death occurred years ago or just days ago; many struggle to return to daily life, and in severe cases, the pain leads to more suicides.
The government offers support services, including postvention programs, financial assistance with therapy and psychiatric treatments and self-help groups. But the most crucial factor is replacing the harsh stigma against suicide with kindness and empathy. This is captured in Heo Hee-yeon's testimony in the anthology: “After I was labeled a ‘suicide-bereaved family member,’ the way people looked at me changed. Some spoke badly of me behind my back, and I often received judgment instead of compassion.”
Social stigma leaves wounds
From supportive family and friends to fellow suicide-bereaved individuals and mental health centers, dozens of people picked up their pens in the hopes that they were not the only ones dealing with this kind of pain and could both regain and share their strength through the anthology.
“What we can do is not follow the deceased, but understand them and open our hearts enough to hold even their sadness and pain. Today […] I choose to love myself so that I can hold [who I lost]. I am not alone,” wrote Seon-hu.
![Participants write a letter of support for a suicide prevention campaign at the Cheonggye Plaza in Jongno District, central Seoul, on Sept. 18. [YONHAP]](https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/data/photo/2025/11/24/78847587-6040-4a1a-97e3-e862eed6b415.jpg)
Participants write a letter of support for a suicide prevention campaign at the Cheonggye Plaza in Jongno District, central Seoul, on Sept. 18. [YONHAP]
Some suicide-bereaved individuals eventually become peer supporters for others in similar situations, even before they themselves are fully healed.
“I felt like I had been dropped alone on an abandoned island, but looking back, I was never truly alone. My family, friends, counselor and son were beside me. When you look around, you will realize that people are rooting for you,” said Son Young-mi.
Messages left by the suicide-bereaved at the end of the anthology focus not on resentment or regret but on longing and love. They offer encouragement: to lean on someone when it hurts, and not to give up.
“You were truly the best older brother. We'll see each other again someday. Until then, I will live and remember you.”
“One day, when the heavens call me, I hope to [arrive] with joy and reunite with my beloved son.”
“Right now, somewhere, someone is thinking of suicide. Suicide is a momentary choice, but the pain for those left behind is beyond imagination. Let’s stop that thought now, take a long breath and think of tomorrow. When you reverse the word ‘suicide’ [jasal in Korean], it becomes ‘let’s live’ [salja]. When I tried living, it turned out I could.”
If you or someone you know is feeling emotionally distressed or struggling with thoughts of suicide, LifeLine Korea can be contacted at 1588-9191 or the Crisis Counseling Center at 1577-0199. The Seoul Global Center offers English-language counseling, contact 02-2075-4180 (+1) to arrange a session. Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
This article was originally written in Korean and translated by a bilingual reporter with the help of generative AI tools. It was then edited by a native English-speaking editor. All AI-assisted translations are reviewed and refined by our newsroom.
BY JEONG JAE-HONG [[email protected]]
with the Korea JoongAng Daily
To write comments, please log in to one of the accounts.
Standards Board Policy (0/250자)