[Brian's Stuff]
Beware of the boilermaker belly binge

How many words in the Encyclopedia Britannica? About 44 million. If a word has significant meaning, it should be there. But “boilermaker,” a term of endearment for the beer-whisky cocktail that Koreans love to “one shot,” is not included.

The closest entry refers to American boxer James Jackson Jeffries who was nicknamed The Boilermaker. After several years in retirement, Jeffries opted for a comeback under the moniker The Great White Hope and took on the first African-American U.S. heavyweight champion, Jack Johnson. He lasted 15 rounds in Reno, Nevada, on July 4, 1910 but Johnson knocked him out cold.

No mention of beer. No mention of whisky. Not a peep. I guess the people at Britannica have standards and it must mean something if the boilermaker beverage is not in the world’s greatest encyclopedia.

Yet boilermakers here are the order of the day at this time of the year. In fact, if you have lived long enough in Korea you’ll know locals pride themselves on gulping down boilermakers as if they were the latest health drink. Needless to say the local version of the famed drink often replaces the whisky with soju.

I have had people bragging they had 20 or more boilermakers in one night. I am speechless. Don’t people know that binge drinking is a major cause for premature ejaculation not to mention impotence? The general logic provided by boilermaker advocates is that it’s a cheap and fast way to get drunk in a very short time. True. The human body is not designed to withstand the onslaught of mixed alcohol, much less when people compete to drink boilermakers.

I’m lucky. I have what is called the alcohol flush reaction. I lack the enzyme that breaks down alcohol in my liver and my face, neck and other body parts turn scarlet if I drink too much. This is quite handy because other drinkers stop forcing drinks on people who have red alert written all over their face. If you don’t have this colorful camouflage, there’s no escape from one more shot.

Consider this. Britannica says this in its alcohol section: “Shy people become outgoing; well-behaved people become disorderly; the sexually repressed become amorous; the fearful become brave; the quiescent or peaceful become verbally or physically aggressive.”

I used to drink a lot - it comes with the territory of journalism - and I gained 10 kilograms (22 pounds) in a single year. It took me half a year on the treadmill just to lose six. That and the constant harassment by my coworkers who found it funny that slim boy had developed an ET belly.

So when people say they don’t want to drink anymore, don’t call them a spoiler. Just pour your own drink.

By Brian Lee Staff Reporter [africanu@joongang.co.kr]