A delicate situation, verbose friends, acting on a hunchQ.A few months ago, I broke up with my former girlfriend of nearly one year and now I am seeing another woman.
The problem is, my ex-girl friend now says that she is pregnant with my child and plans to keep the baby even if we are no longer together. I do not believe that she is really carrying my child. And even if she is, I do not want a baby right now.
I have been worried ever since my ex-girlfriend contacted me because if my new girlfriend finds out about this situation, she might leave me. I am not even sure if I should tell my new girlfriend what is going on. What should I do?
A.First, you have to find out if your ex-girlfriend is telling you the truth. If she is an old-fashioned girl, she might believe that a baby can bring back the man she has lost. If that is the case, and she is lying to you, the only way to convince her that the relationship is over is to confront the issue face to face and come to a mutual agreement.
If she persists, and you are positive that she is not pregnant with your baby, you might have to take measures to verify the paternity of the child.
Your new girlfriend should not find your situation amusing at all, but your past is something she will eventually have to accept. At this time of crisis, both you and your new girlfriend will need emotional strength to assure each other that your relationship is, after all, not past, but present ― and future.
Q.I am a fairly attractive Korean woman in my 20s. Most young, single men I meet through my single girl friends are very disappointed when they discover that I am married. It is not that I want to keep it a secret, but my girl friends do not have to tell every guy we run into that I am married. I hate it when they do that, even if they do not mean any harm. But for some reason I feel guilty about asking them to stop.
A.Your girl friends will never understand how you feel unless you tell them. If you do not talk about it with them, you will end up feeling hurt because it will seem that your friends do not care about your true feelings.
You should discuss the matter with them and make your point. Good-hearted friends will heed your wishes, and in the long run you will all be happy you talked about it.
Q.I have a gut feeling that my boyfriend will break up with me soon. Should I break it off first?
A.What are you afraid of? Life is greetings and goodbyes. Your assessment that he plans to break up with you might be right, or it might be wrong. What is more important is how you feel about the relationship. If you act, do not do so out of fear of what he might be planning.
by Ines Cho