Living in the United States comes with its own set of quirks
Published: 10 Jun. 2004, 22:17
You know you’ve been in the United States too long when...:
― You have no problem going out in public in your pajamas with no makeup.
― You start to avoid eating kimchi in the morning so you don’t smell.
― You compulsively check the nutrition facts on the food you eat.
― Sheer blue eyes no longer frighten you.
― You feel compelled to take a car on a 50-meter journey.
― You order a creamy pasta dish and you still reach for the parmesan to make it cheesier.
― You start to need pounds of ice in every drink.
― You no longer reach for your cigarettes after a meal in a restaurant.
― You don’t mind buying a shirt that has someone else’s lipstick on it.
― You have no problem blowing your nose at the table, but feel embarrassed if you burp.
― You stop wearing stockings in the summer.
― You realize that the prettiest boys in town aren’t ladies’ men; they’re gay.
― American pizza doesn’t taste too salty anymore.
― You start to unabashedly sing and dance along to the music playing in your car.
― You master the “twang” in your vowels.
― The number of Korean dramas you’ve rented from the video store has you fantasizing about a bloatedly romanticized Korea.
― You start craving tacos.
― You try harder to play up your exotic “Asian” features.
― You start clipping coupons out of the Sunday paper.
― You can talk about your sex life with friends of the opposite sex.
― It doesn’t faze you to see boxers or bra straps peeking out.
― Girls start showing off their biceps.
― You wear sneakers and carry a backpack when dressed in a business suit.
― You start plucking all the hair on your body.
― You start cursing in English.
― You make a donation to “save the whales.”
― You feel no guilt over trying on a dozen pairs of pants and not buying any of them.
― You are comfortable wearing your shoes into your house.
― You look forward to Monday Night Football.
― You order a supersized Big Mac with a Diet Coke.
― You don’t pay attention to international affairs.
― You start hunting around for garage sales.
― You drop the “us” and “we” references and start calling Koreans “Koreans.”
― You buy groceries in bulk.
― You’re addicted to salt and vinegar chips.
by JoongAng Daily Staff
with the Korea JoongAng Daily
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