Living in the United States comes with its own set of quirksWe’ve already illustrated the slow adaptation of foreigners living in Korea, many of whom succumb to kimchi at breakfast. Now hear from the Koreans on the JoongAng Daily staff who have lived abroad.
You know you’ve been in the United States too long when...:
― You have no problem going out in public in your pajamas with no makeup.
― You start to avoid eating kimchi in the morning so you don’t smell.
― You compulsively check the nutrition facts on the food you eat.
― Sheer blue eyes no longer frighten you.
― You feel compelled to take a car on a 50-meter journey.
― You order a creamy pasta dish and you still reach for the parmesan to make it cheesier.
― You start to need pounds of ice in every drink.
― You no longer reach for your cigarettes after a meal in a restaurant.
― You don’t mind buying a shirt that has someone else’s lipstick on it.
― You have no problem blowing your nose at the table, but feel embarrassed if you burp.
― You stop wearing stockings in the summer.
― You realize that the prettiest boys in town aren’t ladies’ men; they’re gay.
― American pizza doesn’t taste too salty anymore.
― You start to unabashedly sing and dance along to the music playing in your car.
― You master the “twang” in your vowels.
― The number of Korean dramas you’ve rented from the video store has you fantasizing about a bloatedly romanticized Korea.
― You start craving tacos.
― You try harder to play up your exotic “Asian” features.
― You start clipping coupons out of the Sunday paper.
― You can talk about your sex life with friends of the opposite sex.
― It doesn’t faze you to see boxers or bra straps peeking out.
― Girls start showing off their biceps.
― You wear sneakers and carry a backpack when dressed in a business suit.
― You start plucking all the hair on your body.
― You start cursing in English.
― You make a donation to “save the whales.”
― You feel no guilt over trying on a dozen pairs of pants and not buying any of them.
― You are comfortable wearing your shoes into your house.
― You look forward to Monday Night Football.
― You order a supersized Big Mac with a Diet Coke.
― You don’t pay attention to international affairs.
― You start hunting around for garage sales.
― You drop the “us” and “we” references and start calling Koreans “Koreans.”
― You buy groceries in bulk.
― You’re addicted to salt and vinegar chips.
by JoongAng Daily Staff