Young caregivers battle problems of their own amid daily struggle

Social Affairs

Published: 05 May. 2024, 18:59 Updated: 05 May. 2024, 19:17

Young caregivers battle problems of their own amid daily struggle

Koo Hye-bin, an 11-year-old family caregiver, prepares to cook eggs with her left hand as her right hand was injured to a recent fall last Thursday. [LEE BO-RAM]

Young caregivers, some even in elementary school, are taking on the burden of looking after their families and household chores.

An 11-year-old girl, Koo Hye-bin, one such preteen caregiver who lives in Incheon, puts on her apron at 7 p.m. last Thursday, ahead of Children's Day, a national holiday celebrating children being as children.

She brings two eggs out of a refrigerator with her left hand as her right hand is wearing a wrist guard due to a recent fall.

She skillfully cooks eggs on a gas stove and serves them with ketchup in a heart shape.

She didn't forget to lock the gas valve as well.

For Koo, this is a typical evening routine in her house as she takes care of her 13-year-old brother, who has an intellectual disability.

"I'm most confident in making fried eggs," Koo said. "I learned it from my mom when she was not sick."

While having dinner with her brother, she chatted about what happened during the day, like any other kid her age.

During the conversation, she suddenly signaled him to shush while talking about her friend teasing her for being unable to crisscross jump rope, since she was concerned that her mother might worry.

Koo also hid that she hurt her arm until recently due to fear that she might worry her sick mother and only went to the hospital when the pain became worse.

Koo is so focused on looking after her family because her mother is in poor health.

Koo's days start with her waking up her brother every morning to send him to school.

After she ends school, which finishes around 2:40 p.m., she goes to a nearby local children's center and studies math and English there.

She returns home around 5:00 p.m. and starts doing house chores such as laundry or cleaning. Before she knows it, it's time for her to prepare dinner.

A 11-year-old family caregiver, Koo Hye-bin, folds her laundry with her injured hand. [LEE BO-RAM]

Koo's mother, Kim Hye-ran, 38, first fell ill in 2020 when Koo was a first grader in elementary school.

Kim was diagnosed with diseases such as diabetes and high blood pressure and suffered from kidney failure.

Early last month, Kim lost consciousness while being transferred to a nearby hospital in an ambulance, which she was able to get on with the help of her son's activity assistant, who was visiting their house at the time.

After being transferred, Kim spent 10 days in the intensive care unit.

"For days, I couldn't eat well and continued to throw up, but I thought it was just a normal stomach flu," Kim said. "After going to the hospital, the doctor said that my pancreas had almost melted as it was seriously inflamed and that I might have died if I'd come in one or two days later."

Kim now has to live on medication that replaces the function of her pancreas for the rest of her life.

Kim isn't able to earn a living because she has repeatedly been in and out of the hospital several times a year and also suffers from depression and social anxiety.

Kim's mental illness was caused by her husband's habitual domestic violence. He is currently in prison for assaulting her.

Her monthly 100,000-won ($73) medication expense is also a burden.

Kim usually makes family meals from the side dishes a nearby community welfare center gives out once a week.

When Kim feels less ill, she prepares meals for her family, but when she's unwell, her daughter takes over the cooking duties, which is usually the case. As a result, Koo often brings Kim's medicine and a cup of water for her to take.

Children and adolescents under 18 who care for the adults and children in their family, like Koo, are referred to children and adolescent family caregivers.

In April, the Health Ministry released a report surveying young caregivers between 13 and 34, the first survey on the subject.

According to the report, young caregivers showed higher discontent towards life than the general youth.

A total of 22.2 percent responded that "they are dissatisfied with their life," which is more than twice as high as general youth respondents at 10 percent.

Around 61.5 percent of young caregivers suffer from depression, sevenfold higher than the 8.5 percent of general youth who suffer from the disorder.

According to charity organization ChildFund Korea's survey in 2022, 46 percent of the 1,494 children and adolescents it supports were young family caregivers. Of them, 23 percent, or 157 young caregivers, were in elementary school.

However, following the survey, no governmental statistics have been released covering young caregivers under 13 or in elementary school or younger, like Koo.

In the 2022 ChildFund Korea survey, 43.1 percent said they did not receive any support to relieve their burden of caregiving.

They also answered that they are experiencing psychological and emotional hardships, difficulties in career advancement, peer relationships and academic performance.

Amid such hardships, Koo said she dreams of being a singer someday.

She said that she practices singing and dancing when she has time while caring for her family on behalf of her sick mother.

While meeting with the JoongAng Ilbo, she also started to perform girl group (G)I-DLE's "Fate," along with other songs.

After her performance, she talked with her brother about their Children's Day plan, saying that she wished to go to an amusement park with her mother on Children's Day one day.

BY LEE BO-RAM, KIM JI-YE [kim.jiye@joongang.co.kr]