[WHY] More than just blind dates and apps: How Koreans are finding love in 2024

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[WHY] More than just blind dates and apps: How Koreans are finding love in 2024

Published: 24 Aug. 2024, 07:00

CHO JUNG-WOO
cho.jungwoo1@joongang.co.kr

A couple holding hands [GETTY IMAGES]

“Let’s meet up in Gangnam after work. We’re two guys in our mid-30s, both taller than 178 centimeters (5.8 feet) and average-looking. Send us a message,” read a post on Blind, an anonymous community app for office workers in Korea. The user also included a link to an open chat on KakaoTalk, the country’s go-to messaging app.

Originally designed as a platform for reviewing companies and sharing workplace information, Blind requires users to verify their current place of employment. However, as the app has evolved into a broader community for office workers, it has also become a popular space for meeting new people.

Some users even go as far as posting detailed self-introductions, listing everything from age and occupation to physical traits, all in the hope of meeting someone special.

In Korea, matchmaking culture has long been dominated by sogaeting — or blind dates — typically set up by friends or acquaintances. But with the rise of dating apps and an almost limitless pool of potential matches online, many people are taking a more proactive approach to finding love, moving beyond the traditional, more passive methods.

The shift is particularly evident, as Koreans, amid the country’s record-low birthrate, are more determined than ever to find romantic partners— not just through dating apps, but also through social gatherings and classes designed specifically for singles.

The dating app boom

The market for dating apps in Korea is constantly rising. According to global market researcher Statista, the domestic market for dating apps is projected to reach $35 million by the end of the year and is expected to grow to $36.4 million by 2028. By then, an estimated 5.8 million Koreans will be using dating apps.

“I first tried Tinder because I was so lonely during the pandemic,” said a 31-year-old office worker surnamed Kang. “It didn’t work out perfectly, but I was happy to meet new people through the app.”

The icon for dating app Tinder as seen on a device on July 28, 2020, in New York. [AP/YONHAP]

The most popular dating apps in Korea include the globally recognized Tinder, and local apps like Glam and Wippy. As of March this year, Tinder had 188,740 monthly active users in Korea alone, according to market tracker Mobile Index. The app was launched in Korea in 2018.

While these apps are open to everyone, some platforms cater to a more exclusive group.

Goldspoon, for instance, is a high-end app where men must prove their “financial capabilities” by submitting documents that verify they own luxury cars, hold prestigious jobs or earn over 70 million won ($52,000) annually. Women, on the other hand, only need to submit profile photos, which are then randomly approved by male users.

Another app, Sky People, a dating application created by a Seoul National University graduate, targets men who work in stable, professional fields like medicine and law, or who are graduates of top universities.

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The male users would need to wait for the app’s approval after sending proof of their background, such as graduation certificates and business cards. According to the application, some 500,000 people in total have used the service.

Blind, the platform mentioned earlier, also serves as a space for meetups, with verification of employment adding a layer of security.

From cooking classes to book clubs

A 29-year-old office worker in Seongsu-dong, eastern Seoul, frustrated by her friends’ inability to find suitable blind dates for her, recently signed up for a cooking class designed specifically for singles.

“It felt like a regular cooking class, but it was obvious everyone was there to meet someone,” she said. “After learning how to make the dish, the guys rotated seats to chat with different girls as we ate the dish we cooked.”

Participants in the event held reputable jobs, with some working as engineers and accountants, having had their profiles shared with the organizer in advance. The office worker paid 65,000 won to attend the event.

“I didn’t end up with the guy I had been in contact with after the class, but it was still worth trying. It was a new and interesting experience,” she said.

Categories for singles gatherings on Mod Party, a platform that hosts social events, range from wine and cooking to English language classes as shown on its website. [SCREEN CAPTURE]

Similar networking events — like book clubs and wine parties for singles — can also be found on services like Trevari, a platform for reading gatherings, and Frip, an app for those who wish to share hobbies with others. Although these apps aren't specifically designed for matchmaking, they provide opportunities for people to meet and network.

In western Seoul, there is even a bar that sets up blind dates for its customers, where participants can sign up for two-on-two or three-on-three dates. They wear eye masks for an hour, converse and reveal their age and occupation after removing their masks.

Local governments and religious institutions are also getting involved to create more opportunities for people to connect.

Last year, the Seongnam city government hosted five rounds of matchmaking events, with 490 participants and 99 couples emerging from these gatherings. The city received over 2,500 applications.

Since 2012, Buddhist temples have also been hosting “dating” temple stays, where single men and women spend a night getting to know each other. At the most recent event, held from Aug. 9 to 10, six couples were formed from 20 participants.

“Many people cited the lack of opportunities to meet new people as a reason for hesitating to marry,” said Joo Hyung-hwan, vice chairman of the Presidential Committee on Ageing Society and Population Policy, during the Aug. 9 temple stay event.

“It is important that people make good inyeon [providence or fate in Korean] during their lifetime, which would ideally lead to family.”

Participants of a dating program dubbed “Naneun Jeollo," hosted by the Korean Buddhist Foundation for Social Welfare and the Ministry of Health and Welfare play rock, paper, scissors at Naksan Temple in Yangyang County, Gangwon, on Aug. 9. [PARK SANG-MOON]

Classes solely for dating can also be found at universities.

At Chonnam National University, a course was launched last year where students go on dates, involving activities like going out to see the cherry blossoms or making rings together, as part of the class. Students even presented their experiences to their classmates. Some of these dates have resulted in actual couples.

A similar class at Dongguk University explores gender perspectives, with students paired up to complete different “missions” together, like going out for a meal or walking each other home. The course also covers communication skills and ways to overcome a breakup.

Sogaeting: the traditional blind date

Despite the surge of new methods of meeting new people, sogaeting remains a staple in Korean culture. The word combines sogae, which means introduction in Korean, and ting as in meeting. According to a 2019 survey by matchmaking agency Duo, nearly eight out of ten people have arranged blind dates for their friends.

The 29-year-old office worker from Seongsu-dong, despite her attempts to find a partner by attending multiple events, said she still prefers going on blind dates.

“I’m so busy with work, and I’m not really interested in dating someone from the same industry. That’s why I ask my friends to set me up on blind dates,” she said.

The office worker added that, as she doesn’t usually go out partying or actively mingle with people during her free time, blind dates are the best option for her.

A scene from tvN's blind date program ″Seondabang Season 2″ (2018) features a man and a woman on a blind date. [SCREEN CAPTURE]

Typically, a friend or an acquaintance will arrange a blind date, showing her a photo or sharing some details of a potential date. If she’s interested, the friend will contact the guy, and if he’s also keen, they exchange contact information.

That’s when the real sogaeting begins.

After exchanging contact information, they start engaging in small talk through text and decide on the date and place to meet.

According to the matchmaking consulting service Gayeon, most of their members in their 20s and 30s prefer to meet at 5 p.m. on Saturdays, usually for a meal or coffee on their first date.

If they enjoy their first date, they'll plan another.

In Korea, there’s a saying that couples often become official by their third date when they meet through sogaeting.

Participants of the Seongnam city government's mass matchmaking event listen as the city's mayor, Shin Sang-jin, speaks at Gravity Seoul Pangyo in Bundang District, Gyeonggi, on July 2, 2023. [SEONGAM CITY GOVERNMENT]

Some people, eager to find the love of their lives, even set up blind dates during lunchtime.

"I had a business meeting at a hotel in Yeouido, western Seoul, around December last year, and I saw at least four pairs on blind dates at the hotel’s restaurant," a 27-year-old strategy consultant, who worked in Yeouido at that time, said.

"I haven't been on a blind date during lunchtime, but I heard from my colleagues that it's quite common to see people going on brief blind dates during their lunch break."

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These blind dates do not always need to be one on one.

"Jikting is a type of blind date that I prefer," Jenny Lim, a 28-year-old office worker in central Seoul said. "I feel less pressured and awkward because I can hang out with my colleagues or friends and get to know new people."

Jik is short for jikjang, which means company in Korean.

Jikting involves group dates that are typically made up of three or four people from each side. One of the women interested in going on a jikting will bring along her co-workers or school friends, and the guys do the same.

"It also feels safer," she adds. "Since everyone is connected through friends, you have a sense of who they are before even meeting them. It's like getting a preview before the actual encounter," she said, thinking back to her last jikting just a few weeks ago.

In a society where time is precious and opportunities to meet new people are relatively limited, these different approaches to dating serve as a testament to the enduring human desire for companionship and love.

Kang, who has since moved on from dating apps, says he rarely turns down a blind date set up by his friends and actively seeks opportunities to meet new people.

“Whether it’s through apps or blind dates, I think the key is putting yourself out there,” he said. “You have to make the effort to meet new people if you want to find the partner you're looking for.”

BY CHO JUNG-WOO [cho.jungwoo1@joongang.co.kr]