Buddhist monks play Cupid — with a 60% success rate, no less — as Korea struggles to lift low birthrates

Social Affairs

Buddhist monks play Cupid — with a 60% success rate, no less — as Korea struggles to lift low birthrates

Published: 12 Aug. 2024, 18:05 Updated: 12 Aug. 2024, 19:42

LEE SOO-JUNG
lee.soojung1@joongang.co.kr

A group of 20 eligible bachelors and bachelorettes dressed in hanbok stand in front of a Buddha statue at Naksan Temple in Yangyang, Gangwon, on Friday evening as participants of a dating program dubbed “Naneun Jeollo," which was hosted by the Korean Buddhist Foundation for Social Welfare and the Ministry of Health and Welfare. [PARK SANG-MOON]

Yangyang, GANGWON — Monks have become matchmakers and a Buddhist temple has turned into a religiously blessed date place in Korea.

In the country with the world's lowest birthrate, where nearly half of young Koreans consider marriage or childbirth unnecessary, the Korean Buddhist Foundation for Social Welfare and the Ministry of Health and Welfare joined hands to encourage young singles to be in “eternally lasting romantic relationships.”

Ten eligible bachelors and ten bachelorettes competitively selected from among 701 male and 773 female applicants took part in a two-day dating program dubbed "Naneun Jeollo."

The participants were in their 30s, born between 1984 and 1994.

"I have butterflies right now, and the idea of participating in a dating program in the temple was fresh and new to me," a female participant told the Korea JoongAng Daily before meeting other dating campmates.

The couples first met on Friday morning. The following day, they made their final decisions on whom to fall in love with, with six couples matched. That is to say, 60 percent of participants found romantic partners.

The program’s title is a portmanteau of naneun, which means "I am," jeol, which means temple and lo, a Korean preposition meaning "to." The format is borrowed from ENA's and SBS Plus’s popular dating reality show “I am Solo” (2021-).

“Naneun Jeollo” started last November, and Friday’s program was the fifth such program.

The organizers chose Naksan Temple in Gangwon, which perfectly fits the summertime vibe with turquoise seas surrounding the monastery. It also borrowed a reference from the Korean tale, “Gyeonwu and Jiknyeo,” where male and female characters meet once a year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month, which fell on Friday.

Monks handpicked 20 participants from the over 1,500 applicants based on a grading scheme prioritizing one’s “heartfelt desperateness for romance.”

While participants were rooting for love, the organizer and the national government saw their aspirations as a “hope” that could boost young Koreans’ marriage and ultimately contribute to the national birthrate.

The participants, all in their 30s, take a commemorative photo after the opening ceremony of the ″Naneun Jeollo″ matchmaking program at Naksan Temple in Gangwon on Friday afternoon. [PARK SANG-MOON]

In a ceremony officiating the program, Joo Hyung-hwan, vice chairman of the Presidential Committee on Ageing Society and Population Policy, said he was “elated to see young Koreans’ wholeheartedness in becoming each other’s significant others,” noting the large number of applications.

Joo added that he felt “heavy responsibility” and promised the “government’s support in helping young people find their partners for life and help form families.”

During his remarks, Venerable Myojang, chief of the Jogye Order, highlighted what to consider in spousal selection. “I have seen many husbands and wives living happily when they married someone who resembles their parents, so keep your eyes wide open and find characteristics of your parents among the participants here today,” he said.

“Please spend every minute and second only focusing on finding your best partner.”

Overture

Single men and women are in line to draw lots to select their partners on the bus at a service area on their way to Naksan Temple on Friday morning. [LEE SOO-JUNG]

The journey to finding a romantic partner started when the 20 participants arrived at Jogye Temple in central Seoul at around 7:50 a.m. on Friday. Then, staffers handed them lanyards with pseudonyms. The men were named Gyeonwu, numbered 1 to 10, and the women Jiknyeo, numbered 1 to 10.

On a bus heading to Naksan Temple, men and women sat together in pairs according to the results of draw lots. All male participants sat on aisle seats, and the ladies took window seats. Then, cheerful but bashful chitchat filled the bus.

Upon arrival at the temple, the participants submitted their privacy consent forms, proof of employment and copies of their business cards as a part of the check-in process. Those documents appear to prove their financial readiness to fall in love and afford dates.

After lunch with temple food, all participants gathered for an opening ceremony and self-introduction — a time to tease their real identities.

Lifting the curtain

A male participant introduces himself to other participants at Naksan Temple in Gangwon on Friday afternoon. [SCREEN CAPTURE]

The game began when the bachelors started to explain themselves and demonstrate their charms.

All the male participants had one thing in common: They all said exercising is their hobby. Yet, the specific types of exercise were all different — ranging from mountain climbing to cross-fit.

“I am Gyeonwu No. 3, who wants to fall in love this summer,” the participant said. “I am a banker working in South Chungcheong. I also enjoy weight training and playing soccer.”

“I exercise five to six times a week and stay away from drinking and smoking,” Gyeonwu No. 6 said. “My future girlfriend won’t be anxious over my drinking problems or night-outs with my male friends.”

“My strength is patience and consistency as I have been working in a single company for 10 years and eight months,” Gyeonwu No. 9 said, adding that his favorite sport was cross-fit.

“My Myers-Briggs personality type is ENTP, and my hobby is weight-training,” said Gyeonwu No. 10. “I find myself humorous, moderately masculine and warmhearted. My ideal type is an elegant woman with a beautiful smile.”

Then, it was women’s turn — or a chance to show their rizz.

“I am a woman of responsibility with confidence,” Jiknyeo No. 2 said. “Also, I am learning parenting skills by taking care of my 29-month-old nephew these days. I think I will be a good mother."

“My parents also tied the knot after came across each other at a Buddhist temple,” Jiknyeo No. 4 said. “I wish to meet someone nice at this program and get married.”

“I have tried out several temple stay programs in the past, and I have come here today, thinking my suitable partner would be somebody who understands the beauty of the temple stay,” Jiknyeo No. 10 said, adding she is looking for a man who “plans to form a family and have a baby.”

A bit closer

Gyeonwu No. 10 and Jiknyeo No. 8 hold hands during an icebreaker session at Naksan Temple in Gangwon on Friday. [PARK SANG-MOON]

At around 2 p.m., the participants changed their outfits — from their best-looking dresses, tops, skirts and pants to grey-colored Buddhist vests and shorts.

A 30-minute lecture on ways to reverse the plummeting birthrate took place. The instructor explained the history of the country's population policies and emphasized the power of family and the joy that comes from it.

Later on, a recreational session followed. This was where lighter touches came in.

It started with a game of musical chairs, and those who failed to secure their seats had to hold their hands together and become taggers in the next round. Each round became fiercer and fiercer as the survivors earned higher scores. The winners had priority in selecting partners for dinner dates.

Then, the participants were seated in pairs for another set of games. When the host gave extra points for the most enthusiastic cheering, some pairs high-fived and clapped.

The next game explored similarities and differences. The participants intimately whispered to each other and asked basic things such as their favorite travel destinations and family relationships. Those who correctly remembered other couples’ similarities won points.

Throughout the game, some participants were also spotted exchanging glances while seated separately.

A woman participant selects a partner for a dinner date at Naksan Temple in Gangwon on Friday. [NAM SOO-HYOUN]

The choice of dinner date was given to women participants. The higher her score was, the more options she had.

The winners who had early decisions contemplated over a minute, carefully selecting their dinner date partner. Some women who gained relatively low scores sighed when they saw the available partners, saying it was "not easy” and that the ones they wanted were already taken.

Decision time

The 10 Gyeonwu and 10 Jiknyeo have a speed-dating tea time session on Friday evening at Naksan Temple in Gangwon. [PARK SANG-MOON]

After an hourlong dinner, the participants strolled around the temple compound in hanbok, or Korean traditional dress.

Next, partners held a speed-dating session over tea, giving each person 15 minutes to speak with one partner before switching to the next one to get to know one another better.

The intensity and level of communication were more intense than the exchanges during the recreational games. They started to probe their partners' private and personal lives — how many guy friends or female friends they had or whether they had been in long-distance relationships.

Afterward, the participants had a nighttime date and strolled freely around the temple compound. This time, men made choices about whom to date.

The time to make the final decision arrived late Friday night, and the results were announced on Saturday morning. They picked the ones they wanted to get to know more deeply and spend time with together after the program ended.

Of the 20 participants, 12 were matched or had emotional connections, meaning the program achieved a 60 percent success rate, an all-time high in its history.

A shot at love

A man and woman participant stroll around the compound of Naksan Temple in Gangwon on Friday. [PARK SANG-MOON]

Gyeonwu No. 5 told the Korea JoongAng Daily that the program was “more comfortable and less burdensome than blind dates because it gives enough time to get to know and converse with each other compared to blind dates where one’s first impression is critical, and people judge each other’s conditions.”

Jiknyeo No. 4 also told the paper that she “felt people’s heartfelt sincerity for love and marriage” in the program. She also admitted that it is “difficult to seek and meet romantic partners naturally,” adding that all her 30 or so blind dates failed.

The Korean Buddhism community will continuously pioneer dating opportunities for young Koreans. Future opportunities are wide open for those who dream of romance. Those whose applications were rejected in previous screenings can reapply in future “Naneun Jeollo” programs.

The Korean Buddhist Foundation for Social Welfare plans to hold a "Naneun Jeollo" program for people aged 40 to 49 in October.

“We are planning to host a homecoming day as a year-end event where all former participants could have a reunion and search for their partners in the larger pool with more candidates,” an official from the foundation said.

“Religious organizations and local municipalities are offering dating programs these days, and the government is looking forward to an expansion of such programs and is willing to rid of obstacles in later steps," which couples face when developing their relationships into marriage, Joo told the reporters.

“The country will do better in providing such opportunities.”

BY LEE SOO-JUNG [lee.soojung1@joongang.co.kr]