[LETTERS TO THE EDITOR]30-something lament

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[LETTERS TO THE EDITOR]30-something lament

I must commend you for your funny, insightful and brave article under the headline, “A plot to scare 30-plus gals into marrying,” in the JoongAng Daily on May 12. If it is any consolation the “30-something bachelorette” is not a uniquely Korean phenomenon. Many of my female friends in Singapore complain of a similar predicament.
However this lament of the bachelorettes always vexes me because inadvertently these same bachelorettes are also emancipated and marriage inevitably compromises that. So maybe it is a self-filling prophecy. Maybe the lament is just a cover to keep society at bay.
There is a Hindu philosophy which goes something like this: “If you want something then you must put your heart and soul into it and do everything within your power to make it happen and then finally you must let that obsession go; only then, maybe, it will happen.” And in my opinion, if it doesn’t happen, then maybe it is a sign that she is destined for other things.
So while I believe that marriage is a wonderful institution, maybe not everybody has the qualifications for entry into this institution. This doesn’t make the “unqualified gal” a failure; it just makes her qualifications different and not celebrating this difference, to paraphrase your quote “would be a crime.”
Keep writing and stay away from ‘crime’.

by Abir Barua
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