[Student Voices] The Crack Between Worlds
Irene Kim (Busan Foreign School / Grade 8)
by Irene Kim (Busan Foreign School / Grade 8)
I was stuck inside with COVID, staring blankly at the computer screen as my fingers wandered around the keyboard. All my classes were on Zoom now. After another group homework assignment, someone said, "Ugh, I'll just marry a wealthy man."
We all laughed as the conversation went off-topic. It didn't last long, as one of the girl's parents told her to go to sleep and we had to end the call. I closed my laptop, grabbed my phone, and lay down on my bed. Just as I got under the blanket, I saw a notification, a message from a new student, Mary, who had joined the call earlier. I was surprised. Our conversations had been few and far between. "Girl," she wrote, "I know we haven't texted, but I felt like the conversation we had earlier needed to continue."
We talked about how virtuality was affecting friendships. After going fully virtual, the distance between myself and my friends increased. As we saw each other less, we thought about each other less. We began to lose touch. In the end, we made new friendships with the people we saw most often online. It felt as if my old friends were throwing me aside, pushing me to spend time with people like Mary because they were busy with their new friends.
As the weeks passed, we talked online about one topic in particular – Veronica. Not so long ago, she had betrayed me by telling everyone about my secret crush. She had even made up a story that got me called to the principal's office. Mary and I bonded over this and other topics. Eventually, we were texting every day. Some days, we sent each other more than a hundred texts.
We started school in person just a few months later. We both texted each other about how excited we were to see each other. We would be under the same roof for the first time! But the moment I entered the classroom, I saw her sitting next to . . . Veronica. They were smiling as they talked to each other. I was confused. I walked over to Mary's desk and tried to start a conversation. Her replies were dry and short. "Yeah." "Uh-huh." "Alright." Her posture was angled away from me, giving the impression that she didn't want to talk. I eventually gave up and sat on the other side of the room.
Later that day, Mary sent me a text:
I know it was awkward between us earlier, and I sincerely apologize. I just wanted to know what was going on [with Veronica]. It didn't feel right to judge someone after listening to one person's perspective. I never meant to upset you or make you think I don't want to be friends with you. I created a crack in our friendship, and again I am sorry.
I decided to accept her apology. The online world had collided with the offline world, and it was confusing for everyone. Over time, Mary and I kept texting each other. I'm not the sort of person who can always express myself freely, but she made me feel comfortable sharing my feelings. I would often say, "Exactly" or "Yes!". She became one of the people I trust the most. Eventually, our friendship settled back where it started - online. We decided that we were better friends there, away from the harsh judgments and petty drama of school. Offline, we hardly ever interact. But online, our friendship is safe.
with the Korea JoongAng Daily
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